A Spicy Relationship
by ChocolateTurnip
Summary: When Russia arrives at China's house for a 'surprise diplomatic visit', China racks his brains for the perfect way to send him home again. Yet, little does he know that his scheme may not go exactly to plan. One-shot, RoChu.


"Hey, China, when are we doing the eating together?"

As China looked up from the pot he was cooking with, he felt nervous sweat beading on his forehead. His ally Russia was lounging against the side of the kitchen worktop, twirling a ladle absent minded in his hands. Of course, he was still smiling as pleasantly as ever, but he seemed to be getting impatient, and worst of all, bored. That was never a good sign. China mopped his face with the long sleeve of his shirt before answering.

"Soon, aru. I think it is nearly ready."

His words made Russia smile more widely than ever.

"That's good. You know that I don't like to be kept waiting, da?"

China's insides turned cold, and he gave the soup another careful stir. He'd been on edge all day- ever since Russia had arrived at his house this morning, completely without warning, for a 'surprise diplomatic visit.'

Trying to host for him was an absolute nightmare, especially since his neighbour's idea of 'diplomacy' seemed to be to make his usual creepy advances and suggest non-stop that they become one. Not that he didn't /like/ Russia, though. In fact, it seemed to China like they'd been spending a little too much time together recently. Rather more time than what would constitute an ordinary diplomatic relationship. His thoughts were shattered as a pair of arms latched around his waist from behind, pulling him in close.

"Aiyaaa!" he cried, feeling himself being slightly crushed against his friend's strong body, "Russia, I have told you before not to grab me like that!"

Russia ignored his protests and hugged him tighter still.

"Ufufu- you're so adorable at the cooking, China. And this is looking delicious too!"

Giggling, he tried to dip his fingers into the soup, but China slapped his hand away.

"Not now! Wait until it has finished cooking, aru!"

"I was only wanting to check that you have not used too many of the spices. I am not good with the spicy food."

China nodded. "Oh, I remember."

Last time they had eaten together it had been at Japan's house. The Asian spices had caused Russia such a powerful negative response that he had to leave the room and drink about a gallon of water to recov...

China gasped as a sudden plan clicked into place in his mind. That was it! He turned back to his ally.

"Would you mind waiting in other room? I will be ready with soup very soon."

Finally, Russia let go.

"Make sure you come soon, da? I am looking forward to having the meal with you."

He brushed his cold lips against China's neck and departed. China shuddered, though whether with repulsion or demonic relish he was not quite sure. He waited until he was certain Russia had left the kitchen before opening a cupboard, and reaching for the most intense spices he had.

* * *

A couple of minutes later, China carried two bowls of his soup into the dining room; one for himself and a very special concoction for his neighbour.

"Okay, food is ready now."

"Yay!" Russia was already waiting happily by the table, spoon and chopsticks at the ready. "What are we eating, China?"

"It is called wonton soup, aru." he set a steaming bowl in front of his ally, "Do not worry; I made it very mild."

"That is good."

Russia began eating immediately, shovelling the broth and little parcels and into his mouth. Taking a seat on the opposite side of the table, China watched him carefully out of the corner of his eye. He knew it would only be a matter of time now...

It began with just a tiny little sniffle; almost too insignificant to be noticeable. China, however, perked his head up eagerly.

"Do you like flavour, Russia?"

"D-da. It is tasting very nice." Russia sniffed again, louder this time, his cheeks tickled a delicate pink, "It is a little hot, though."

China fought hard to conceal his knowing smirk. "It has just come out of pot, aru. Wait for it to cool down."

Nodding, Russia blew a little on the soup before gulping down another mouthful. His condition worsened almost instantly; ears turning crimson at the tips and his face contorting like he was in pain. He dropped the chopsticks into the bowl with a clatter.

"Are you alright?" China asked as innocently as he could, "You do not look so well."

"I am not_ feeling_ so well either." he wiped his nose on a gloved hand and took a quick draught of water, "Are you sure you are not using the spices in this?"

China shrugged. "It is just the same as mine, aru. Perhaps temperature is too hot in this room."

"Da, perhaps."

He took another cautious sip. That alone was enough to provoke him; enflaming his cheeks and forcing his head to bend double over the table. His massive chest jerked and heaved as fit of helpless little coughs and splutters overpowered him and he gasped for breath like a fish out of water. By the time Russia raised his head, tears were cascading over his face and curling around his chin. It almost made him seem... cute. Or maybe 'cute' wasn't quite the right word; more like 'sexy'. Insanely, vulnerably inexplicably sexy.

The sudden realisation of his daydreams hit China suddenly and his eyes widened in panic. Crushing on another was rarely a good idea. Crushing on _Russia_ could be no less than fatal. Best not to think like that again.

"Russia, that sounds serious, aru!" he said, clearing his mind of dangerous fantasies, "Are you sure you are not getting ill?"

Russia dried his face as best as he could. "I-I'm not sure. Maybe I am f-feeling a li-little warm..."

Forging an expression of concern, China reached over and lay a hand on Russia's sweaty forehead.

"Your face is on fire, aru!" he said, "This is not good state for you to be out in. You should be getting rest in bed at home."

Russia's eyes glazed over dreamily. "That is s-sounding nice..."

Closing his eyes, he snuggled his head up against China's shoulder, sighing contentedly. China shoved his head away, heart thudding.

"Aiyaa, get off! When did I say you could rest on me?"

"Ufufu- your neck feels so soft." Russia giggled, "It would be nice if I could be doing that more often, da?"

China stood up hastily.

"Come on, Russia, you need to go home." Looping his ally's arm around his shoulder, he struggled to help him out of the room. "I am not sure that you are thinking straight at moment."

* * *

Even by the time they reached the gates of China's house, it was clear that Russia had not yet fully recovered. His face was still glowing with the intensity of the spices, and his breath was stuttering with discomfort. China couldn't help silently congratulating himself; he would never have guessed just how well his plan would work.

Yet... why did he feel a twinge of reluctance? Was it regret? Guilt maybe? He decided it had to be that. It wasn't that he was starting to develop...feelings for Russia or anything.

Russia turned to him, "I think this is the end of your territory, da?"

China nodded, and put on the best sounding sorrowful voice he could manage.

"Russia, it is shame that you caught fever today, aru. I was looking forward to rest of our day together."

Instead of the frown he was expecting, Russia's face transformed into a huge smile.

"What do you mean, China? You are going to be coming with me!"

"WHAT?!" China cried, "NO! NO I AM NOT!"

"Of course you are! I need someone to be doing the looking after me, da? And who better than my adorable China?"

He grabbed China's arm and began dragging him away happily, "Come on, let's be going now."

"Noooo..." China moaned as he was pulled slowly towards his own inevitable doom.


End file.
